A Quest For Perfection...

The Quest For Perfection

Is their such a thing? 

 per·fec·tion   [per-fek-shuhn] Show IPA

noun

1.

the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.

the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3.

a perfect  embodiment or example of something.

4.

a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5.

the highest or most nearly perfect  degree of a quality or trait.

Depending on how you look at the definition, yes and no.  Great!  If one is on this quest, the mere fact that the definition is subjective is very frustrating.

Now, I will say that I don’t know what my definition of perfect is, but I feel as if I have not reached it in many ways and in other ways, I feel as though I have.

I was brought up reading those magazines that really send many different messages to young girls.  I loved and adored all of them and had stacks and stack of glamour, cosmopolitan, seventeen etc. and could not wait until the next month to get all of that fabulous advice on life and how I should act and look, what I should do and who I should BE.  Well, I am going to blame them for my insecurities as a woman.  I really am and I am going to get in trouble for it.

I can remember as a young teenage girl reading articles on eating disorders and how it effected the lives of some young women, obviously pointing out how sad and devastating they are.  Then on the following pages of the magazine you would see pictures of models and they were looking on top of the world and put together and they were all very very thin and clearly had eating disorders.  How can this not screw with a young girls self image?  Not to mention a young women’s self image.

I believe that society puts a lot of pressure on women, more than men, to be perfect.  You can’t help but notice that the 60 year old guy on TV is with the 25 year old chick that has a killer body and looks like plastic.  You don’t ever see the reverse.  What kind of message does that send?  These types of things still creep into peoples minds.

So, my quest for perfection is even stronger than ever, especially since I have become a mom.  I have a lot more to do than ever before so I have a lot more things to worry about being perfect.  I actually loose sleep sometimes thinking of all of the stuff that I have to do and how I can be the best that I can be in life and what I can to do achieve perfection.  Yikes you are probably thinking!  Me too!

I have kids, I have a husband, I have a house that I like to have clean....not too much to ask out of life, too bad everyone else in my house don’t really care if the house is a pig stye.  I have a job that I want to do well at, and I have myself to take care of.  And “myself” was a little pushed aside for a couple of years, but now I am putting effort into that which feels good.  I want all of this to be perfect you see......and I can get so upset and frustrated sometimes not being able to achieve it too, feeling like a failure.  And then the highs and the lows start and it drives me nuts.  Then, other days I just say to myself, oh well, it is what it is and is perfect in its own way.  

I am not totally nuts, just a little and for the most part I can put things into perspective most of the time.

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