Ever since having had children I feel so guilty about so much. Does anyone else suffer from this as well? When my first son was born and I would leave him with my amazing mother, I would cry and cry and cry and had such a hard time leaving him. It was one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do and the guilt factor was ENORMOUS! I questioned myself every day," Was I doing the right thing for the biggest love of my life?" It actually went against ALL of my instincts as a mom to leave my child - and I feel so lucky that my mom watched him - and it was still difficult for me.
Then baby number 2 came along and I have to honestly say that it was much easier for me to leave him with my mother. Maybe because I had already come to terms with working? But it was very nice to not at least have that guilt.
But other guilt remains, sad to say. I struggle with doing things outside of work without them. It is very difficult for me to leave them again after having worked all day. And on weekends, forget it, I don't ever want to do stuff without them - and when I do, I have guilt....guilt.....guilt. I know that it is healthy and do things, and that I need to work on this area of my life. On the times that I actually do go out to the movies or lunch, whatever, I come home and they don't even know that I left! I still do feel the need to be with them as much as possible and although at points they do drive me a little crazy, man I love them so much and love to watch them grow, do stuff, try and figure out the thoughts that are going through their heads and since I do miss some of this during the day, I get my fill thankfully!
Happy Weekend!
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